


the manifestation of disappointment

by cosmic strings (electrick)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Post CA:TWS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:39:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4188903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrick/pseuds/cosmic%20strings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>after an (unfortunate) mission, bucky finds steve at the gym. memories from before the war resurface and let's face it, bucky's lost when it comes to steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the manifestation of disappointment

**Author's Note:**

> **abate** |əˈbāt|  
> verb [ no obj. ]  
> (of something perceived as hostile, threatening, or negative) become less intense or widespread: the storm suddenly abated.  
> • [ with obj. ] cause to become smaller or less intense: nothing abated his crusading zeal.  
> • [ with obj. ] Law lessen, reduce, or remove (especially a nuisance): this action would not have been sufficient to abate the odor nuisance.

When Bucky finds Steve, he is in the gym, punching the shit out of the bag hanging on the chain. Steve’s back vibrates with every punch as his fist lands on the side of the bag. The mission hadn’t been successful and they had lost two hostages. Bucky hadn’t even found out through Steve. After missions like these, Steve tends to keep to himself and throw his attention in training, preferably something physical. 

 

Bucky leans on his side, against the wall as he waits for Steve to notice him until he realizes that Steve is lost in his own head. Bucky has visions, glimpses of his past life, or rather James’ life. He sees a skinnier, smaller version of Steve sitting on a porch step, with a cleaner James sitting behind him on a warm summer day with Steve drawing in his sketchbook and James throwing a ball in the air. He sees James call out for Steve once, twice and no response from Steve. James leans down to poke Steve and suddenly, Bucky is seeing Steve from a different light. Steve’s eyes are frantic, frazzled and wide open.

 

“Where’d ya go, Stevie?” he hears a voice ask. It sounds like him and Bucky can picture himself saying it but the words feel too familiar, too intimate for Bucky to say now.

 

He walks over from the entrance to the other side of the punching bag. Steve pauses his routine and their eyes meet. It’s a clash of blue and gray, hard against soft, as Bucky holds the bag with his arms. Steve throws a jab at the right side, and it doesn’t take a super soldier to realize that Steve’s strength had abated from before. His fist rests on the bag and his eyes shift to the ground.

 

“I fucked up Buck,” he says and Bucky’s heart falls to the pit of his stomach as he hears his voice. It sounds broken and absolutely what the manifestation of disappointment Bucky imagines to sound like. Bucky has this urge to lean over and clasp his shoulder with his hand but he decides not to.

 

“Just because you’re Captain America doesn’t mean you can’t fuck up. Nobody’s perfect,” his voice is gruff and for a moment, Bucky wonders who said that. When Steve’s eyes glance back up to his face, the realization sets in and there’s a spark in his open blue eyes which makes Bucky’s stomach flutter. His cheeks warm up with heat and there’s pressure on his cheeks, a tension holding them up. Bucky’s eyes dart away and then, there’s a warm hand over his right arm. He looks down to see Steve’s pale hand over his arm and this time, it’s a little bit more than flutters in his stomach. 

**Author's Note:**

> as always, shoot me some prompts on my tumblr @greenarrovv


End file.
